My partner and I have been together for 10 years but only recently started living together. I’ve always struggled with sleep when we spent nights together, but I blamed it on our tiny bed back then. Now, even with a king-size bed, I’m getting terrible sleep.
He doesn’t snore loudly, but he breathes through his mouth. I’ve tried earplugs and white noise, but I still can’t sleep well, and it’s frustrating. Over the past two years, I’ve developed mild misophonia, and noises make me irritable. Last night, his breathing woke me at 3 a.m., and I had to sleep with a pillow over my head. Then at 5:30, he pulled all the covers off me, and I got so annoyed I got up an hour earlier than necessary.
This morning, I told him I might need to sleep in a separate bed, and he seemed pretty sad about it. I feel bad too, especially because he’s not that loud. Has anyone else dealt with this?
Ev said:
My wife and I have had separate rooms for 18 years. We cuddle before sleep, then she moves to her room. In the morning, she comes back for a cuddle. It’s worked perfectly for us!
How did you both decide on this arrangement? Did it take time to adjust?
Check the earplugs you’re using. I’ve been using Loop Quiet for a year, and they’re comfortable and effective. They come with different tip sizes, so make sure yours fit well. You might also try using separate blankets. My partner and I had similar issues, and getting a bigger blanket and an extra one for him made a big difference. Try some changes before deciding, but if separate beds work better, have an open talk about it.
@Zephyr
I have Loop earplugs, but they hurt my ears. Maybe I’m putting them in wrong or need a different size. I’ll try them again. Separate blankets might be a good idea too.
Drew said: @Zephyr
I have Loop earplugs, but they hurt my ears. Maybe I’m putting them in wrong or need a different size. I’ll try them again. Separate blankets might be a good idea too.
I recommend wax earplugs if the others hurt. They’re soft and mold to your ear shape.
Drew said: @Zephyr
I have Loop earplugs, but they hurt my ears. Maybe I’m putting them in wrong or need a different size. I’ll try them again. Separate blankets might be a good idea too.
I had a similar issue at first and had to downsize. Check their fit guide—they have helpful tips. Good luck! Adjusting to someone else’s sleep habits can be tough, but you’ll figure it out.
Have you heard of mouth tape? It helps stop mouth breathing, which might improve both your sleeps. It takes a little getting used to, but it’s worth it. You can use special tape or even medical tape. If he’s open to trying it, you might see a big improvement.
Your sleep matters more than his preference to share a bed. If he won’t try solutions to help you, separate beds might be the best option. Plenty of couples do it.
I had the same problem with my husband. He snores all night while I toss and turn. We moved to separate bedrooms, and it’s been a game changer. We both sleep so much better, and it’s helped our relationship too. Lack of sleep can lead to resentment.
There’s a stigma around sleeping separately, but I think it solves a lot of issues. Sleep deprivation can make conflicts worse, so do what works for both of you. Talk openly about how bad sleep affects you—mention how it impacts your mood, energy, and focus. If he cares about your well-being, he’ll understand.
Separate beds or twin beds pushed together might be a good solution. You can still cuddle but sleep better. I also recommend ultra-soft earplugs—they block out most noises without discomfort.