My partner works 40 hours a week and unwinds by playing video games until late. I’m usually asleep by 10 PM due to my school schedule and chronic illness, which requires me to sleep in a cold environment to avoid nausea. Despite our discussions, he still disturbs my sleep by coming to bed around 3 AM, wanting to cuddle with his cold self against my warm body, which wakes me up. This routine is affecting my health and our relationship, especially as I’m about to start a regular job with early mornings. I love him, but I also need my sleep to function. What should I do?
It sounds like you need another serious conversation about boundaries and maybe find a compromise. Have you considered separate beds or rooms?
Afton said:
It sounds like you need another serious conversation about boundaries and maybe find a compromise. Have you considered separate beds or rooms?
This isn’t just a sleep issue; it’s a relationship issue. Communication and perhaps therapy could help you both find a balance that respects your health and his downtime.
Separate bedrooms might be the answer if you have different sleep schedules and health needs. It’s worth considering for both your sakes.
Discuss how this is affecting you beyond just losing sleep—your health, your daily function, and your relationship are all taking hits. Maybe he could adjust his game time or find a way to come to bed without disturbing you.
Does he realize how much this is affecting you? Communicating the severity of the issue is key. Also, consider the option of sleeping separately on the nights he plays late.
You could temporarily move to another room to underscore how serious this issue is for you. If he notices and cares that you’re not there, it might prompt a change.
West said:
You could temporarily move to another room to underscore how serious this issue is for you. If he notices and cares that you’re not there, it might prompt a change.
Moving rooms without explaining why might create more distance between you two. It’s crucial to communicate your needs clearly.
Having an alternative sleeping arrangement like a spare bed can help on nights when one partner needs undisturbed sleep. It’s worked for many couples.
He should consider sleeping on the couch on his late gaming nights. It’s a small adjustment that respects both your needs.
Try to have a calm conversation about this. It’s important that he understands how crucial sleep is to your health and well-being.
Talk to him seriously about this and consider separate sleeping arrangements if necessary. You both need to be well-rested.
Maybe a garden shed for him to sleep in? Just kidding, but seriously, a conversation about sleep hygiene and respect is overdue.
He might not realize how disruptive he is being. Perhaps suggest a trial period of different sleeping arrangements and see if it improves your quality of life.
If the temperature difference is a big issue, maybe he needs to change his bedtime routine to warm up before coming to bed. Communicate your needs clearly.
He should find another place to sleep after gaming to let you sleep uninterrupted. It’s about respect.
I had a similar issue. It resolved when we set clear expectations about bedtime routines and respected each other’s sleep needs.
Sleep is non-negotiable. He needs to adjust his habits or sleep elsewhere on his late nights.