How do I turn off my mind from thinking about a person?

Seeking Help
1

I can’t sleep properly. I have two days off work, but instead of catching up on rest, I’m only getting around 2 hours of sleep. I wake up, try to distract myself with social media, but I keep thinking about this person.

We had a conflict, and now I can’t get him out of my mind. He blocked me on Facebook and doesn’t respond to my texts. I’m not sure if I’m guilt-ridden or if I’ve developed feelings for him, but I keep wondering how I can apologize and express what’s on my mind.

Should I keep trying to reach out, or is it time to let go and work through my regrets?

2

Don’t keep trying. Respect that he doesn’t want to talk right now.

3

Ben said:
Don’t keep trying. Respect that he doesn’t want to talk right now.

I know, but it’s just hard to let go.

4

Dezi said:

Ben said:
Don’t keep trying. Respect that he doesn’t want to talk right now.

I know, but it’s just hard to let go.

Letting go is a process. If he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to communicate, it’s time to focus on yourself.

5

Give yourself some time to recover. It’s important to respect boundaries. Cry it out if you need to, and focus on your sleep and mental health. You can try soothing activities before bed—chamomile tea, avoiding screens, and getting exercise.

6

Redirect your focus to positive things. I’ve been there after a breakup. It helps to keep yourself busy—exercise, read, explore hobbies you enjoy, and do things that remind you of who you are outside of the relationship. This should help you rest easier at night too.

7

@Tate
When you can’t sleep, maybe try a podcast or something soft-spoken to help distract your mind. That can often be calming.

8

Hollis said:
@Tate
When you can’t sleep, maybe try a podcast or something soft-spoken to help distract your mind. That can often be calming.

I’ve been listening to A Dance with Dragons as an audiobook, but even that reminds me of him.

9

@Dezi
Maybe try a topic that’s completely different, something relaxing that won’t remind you of him. I use space podcasts when I need to drift off, and they’re just the right amount of calming.

10

Hollis said:
@Dezi
Maybe try a topic that’s completely different, something relaxing that won’t remind you of him. I use space podcasts when I need to drift off, and they’re just the right amount of calming.

Thank you for the suggestion.

11

It’s hard when someone shuts you out, and it can be a trauma response to cling to them. Therapy could be helpful to work through this and move on.

12

I’ve been there, and I know it’s painful. The best thing to do is let go and focus on yourself. It might mean going hour by hour, distracting yourself, and slowly allowing yourself to feel better. Don’t worry about sleep right now—it’ll come eventually.

13

@Finley
Thank you, this means a lot :heart:

14

Delete everything that reminds you of them and focus on finding new things to enjoy.

15

It’s time to move on, even though it’s hard. Try deep breathing or calming sounds when you wake up and can’t sleep.

16

Rory said:
It’s time to move on, even though it’s hard. Try deep breathing or calming sounds when you wake up and can’t sleep.

I’m trying to let go and give him space.

17

Maybe write out your thoughts to him in one final letter, even if you don’t send it. It can be helpful to let everything out in a peaceful way.

18

Lennon said:
Maybe write out your thoughts to him in one final letter, even if you don’t send it. It can be helpful to let everything out in a peaceful way.

I wish I could speak to him in person or on a call, but I’ll try this if that’s not possible.

19

Maybe a relaxing activity would help you unwind a little. Like a warm drink or something calming.

20

Vern said:
Maybe a relaxing activity would help you unwind a little. Like a warm drink or something calming.

Drinking some whiskey now, hoping it’ll make me feel better.